House Whip Clark Tells Her Own Party's Senators 'You Suck' at Private Fundraiser

WASHINGTON — House Majority Whip Clark, the lawmaker whose entire job is counting votes, told donors at a closed-door fundraiser that she is tired of hearing her own party's senators say they do not have them, and offered a two-word review of the Senate's performance: 'You suck.'

Clark described the Senate as 'a certain fraternity sorority,' adding that inside it 'there are no Democrats, there are no Republicans, they are just senators.' Senators, reached for comment, said they would need sixty votes to respond.

The remedy Clark proposed was to 'get rid of the darn filibuster,' a rule her party has, at various points in recent history, called both the last guardrail of American democracy and a relic of Jim Crow, depending on which party held fifty-one seats that year.

Senate aides noted that the remark was delivered at a fundraiser, which is the one venue in Washington where everyone is guaranteed to agree with you for exactly as long as the check takes to clear.

The Press's Congress desk observes that the other party's whip trashing his own Senate as a useless country club would have been reported as 'a party in open civil war.' Under Clark, it is 'healthy frustration.' The filibuster, as of press time, has heard both descriptions before and remains in office.