President Biden Promised Every Adult $5,000 If His Party Won; Party Loses, Checks Reclassified as Hypothetical

WASHINGTON — The $5,000 that President Biden promised to every adult citizen if his party held Congress will not be mailed, the White House confirmed Wednesday, because his party did not hold Congress. The condition, aides noted, had been clearly stated. The money had not been clearly located.

Biden made the pledge at his party's midterm convention in September — "if we win, you win with us and you get $5,000" — repeated it in an October video and renewed it in his final speech before Election Day, delivered from the Reflecting Pool, where he said he had kept "far more promises than I made." The checks would have cost roughly $1.22 trillion and required legislation, and a survey found 57 percent of voters doubted they would arrive even if his party won.

Earlier promises of a $5,000 "efficiency dividend" and $2,000 tariff checks had produced similar totals. A friendly cable host broke the news gently on election night: "I don't think we're going to get our $5,000 checks."

Economists consulted by The Press observed that the promise had the rare property of being fully funded only in the scenario where nobody would have to fund it.

The Press's Treasury desk applies the standard test. A president of the other party offering cash to every adult in exchange for a congressional majority would be described as "vote buying" by noon and "a constitutional question" by dinner. Under Biden it was "a closing message." The zeros are identical, and so is the balance.

At press time the Treasury confirmed it had printed nothing, which was also the plan.